From Laura Vanderkam

How to Reset Your Resolutions For the Second Half of the Year

 

I brought my fifth child home from the hospital on December 30th, so I welcomed the new year in a newborn-induced haze. I assumed the little guy would get folded into our busy household’s activities. In a few months I’d be back to my usual work schedule. I spent the first days of January constructing an elaborate spreadsheet of the children’s summer camps and trips. 

Six months later, life looks very different. 

The first half of 2020 has been challenging for so many people. 

Those who’ve escaped the worst disasters have still seen normal plans upended.

It’s tempting to write the year off — can it be 2021 already? But since life is ultimately limited, wishing time away is such a miserable bargain. As the second half of the year begins, this can be a chance to make a different sort of fresh start. There are still ways to see something good come of the next six months. You can…   

Start a sanity-saving habit. What would make life feel more calm? A few ideas: Give yourself a bedtime. Plan your weeks on Fridays. Move by 3 p.m. When life feels out of control, a little discipline about the things we can control goes a long way. 

Make daily life sustainable. I know a lot of people have been trying to work from home with no childcare. It can be done in a crisis. Long term, it’s an exercise in frustration. Consider redirecting funds from some other 2020 goal to hiring some help, or combine households with another family member who can swap care. If your current living set-up doesn’t work, consider moving. It would be great if life returned to normal tomorrow, but it’s probably wisest to assume it won’t, and to take steps to make the latter half of 2020 feel doable.

Spend or give big. There is so much misery in the world. If you’ve been fortunate enough to come through the first half of 2020 with your finances intact, challenge yourself, over the next six months, to find one small problem you can solve. A $5,000 donation might help a local food bank serve many more families. Getting take-out for your family (or your office) from a favorite local restaurant three times a week might help them ride out the next few months. If you know a family going through a tough time, help them (through a trusted other person if you worry about it being awkward). 

Plan new adventures. That trip to Paris might not happen. It’s hard to know. But different sorts of adventures can work. I recently heard from a reader who took the advice to “make life memorable” (from Off the Clock) by driving to a nearby, non-crowded beach. His teenaged children reluctantly came along. Then, while they were there, a pod of dolphins happened to swim by, enchanting the whole family. The world still has marvels if we choose to look. Plan at least one feasible adventure for the next six months. Better yet, plan several. 

Start and finish a project. Often, objects (or songs, or books) become associated with certain times in our lives. Starting and finishing a project in the next six months will let you recall 2020 as more than just chaos. So learn a new piano piece. Print up family photos, frame them, and hang them on the wall. Learn a complicated new recipe and perfect it through practice. Tackle a big book. When you see your project in the future, it will bring to mind this time, and the complex nature of life. 

Settle a big question. People ruminate about all sorts of things: whether to start a business, look for a new job, expand the family, buy a house, go back to school, fix your teeth as an adult, write a book. Choose one of your ongoing questions, make a decision, and start moving forward before the end of the year.  

 

Make a friend. It sounds strange to set this as a goal, but adult friendships require effort. As the world resumes in fits and starts, pay attention to who in your life you might like to get to know better. Make time for conversations — virtual or in-person. In six months of trying, you can definitely start a friendship that might be one of the best things to come out of this year, and can bring a lot of joy to the years to come as well.

All the best,