Going Positive
Some days I wrestle with negativity at work. Whether it’s wrestling with the daily challenges of managing my workflow and meetings or just getting down on myself for not finishing #allthethings or taking a big chunk out of a project that I can’t seem to get off of the back burner. The negativity can mount and it starts to manifest in my work as short emails, frustrated interactions, and negative language.
Tracie recently shared some thoughts on how positive reframing can help combat negativity. As it turns out reframing is a powerful mental model that’s easy to describe but difficult to practice. By reframing things in a positive way I can change how I’m feeling about things so that I can actually move toward a more productive and positive outlook. I thought the first step would be to distill her thoughts into this little article.
Reframing
Basically, reframing means taking a step back from what is being said and done to consider the frame or lens through which this reality is being created. Looking at the alternatives means:
- Challenging beliefs
- Describing what you see
- Changing attributes of the frame to reverse meaning
- Selecting and ignoring aspect of words and actions to emphasize or downplay elements
If you’ve ever been with someone and shared the exact same experience but came away with it with a different take then you’ve experience the power for reframing. It’s the difference of seeing the difference between the glass being half full and half empty.
Effectively reframing can take hard to manage negative feelings out of the picture and help reframe:
Problems as opportunities
Criticisms as helpful advice
Weaknesses as strengths
Ignorance or unkindnesses as a lack of understanding
Someone else’s lack of interest as an opportunity to try new ways to reach them
Using Positive Language
Here’s a great little article with some exercises on rooting out negative language at work.
We deal almost exclusively in words. Negative language leads to feelings of mistrust, frustration, and even conflicts and confrontations. This article has some great tips for replacing negative phrases with positive phrases. I’ll be working to incorporate more phrases that include suggestions and options and fewer phrases that can communicate or be construed as negativity.
Applying Positive Language in Work Interactions and Coaching
Economist Russ Roberts has a great podcast on the Economics of Parenting. In it he applies incentives and positive framing to the challenges opportunities that come with parenting children.
Positive framing of language or a situation can position you to be in a better starting point when it comes to problem solving. The Emotion Machine, lists 30 Positive Reframes that are good for changing perspective:·
- Argumentative → Truth-seeking
- Bossy → Good director / Natural leader
- Clingy → Affectionate
- Compulsive → Efficient / Attention to detail
- Conceited → Confident / Values self
- Crabby → Communicates needs
- Dawdles → Easy-going
- Defiant → Strong beliefs / Courageous
- Demanding → Assertive
- Dependent → Connected
- Doodles → Creative
- Dramatic → Emotionally aware / Expressive
- Fearful → Thoughtful / Careful
- Foolish → Fun loving
- Fussy → Specific tastes / Strong sense of self
- Goofy → Joyful / Entertaining
- Impulsive → Spontaneous
- Loud → Exuberant / Confident
- Manipulative → Gets own needs met
- Mean → Power-seeking· Messy → Open-minded / Easy-going
- Mouthy → Expressive / Has strong opinions
- Naughty → Independent / Exploring boundaries
- Nosey → Curious / Inquisitive
- Quiet → Thoughtful / Reflective
- Rigid → Organized / Knows what they want
- Shy → Introspective / Respectful of boundaries
- Silly → Good sense of humor
- Stubborn → Determined / Persistent
- Talkative → Good communicator / Expressive
- Wants Attention → Speaks out needs