Being a Better Coach
Tracie recently shared this great article on coaching, Sincerity Doesn’t Erase Incompetence–How to Help (https://leadershipfreak.blog/2018/05/30/sincerity-doesnt-erase-incompetence-how-to-help/) via Leadership Freak blog.
At different times in my career as a manager I’ve been all three types of not so helpful helpers:
- Overeager: I just want to jump in and fix the problem when I should let the person coming to me figure it out.
- Needy: Especially early in my career, I needed to be needed and didn’t mind if it made others feel less competent as long as I felt good (see also, the self-loathing that followed).
- Controlling: Similar to being overeager, I wanted the problem fixed my way.
In our coaching role with our colleagues and our friends in the Network, it can be easy to fall into any or a combination of the aforementioned unhelpful helping.
However, I like the three tips offered on how to be a better coach:
- Define Help: Sometimes just listening and before offering any advice you asking, “How can I be of help?” is the right way to get to this definition of what a person needs. Sometimes, it’s not about the nail and it’s just about listening.
- Asking, “What Have You Tried?”: Our groups are powered by smart and independent people. Asking this question signals that you respect them and it also helps them think through. An added benefit is that you won’t suggest a solution that they’ve already tried. It’s so easy in a flurry of activity to short cut around this question but coaching is so much better when you do.
- Generate options: Help the to come up with 2-3 solutions of their own and then ask which ones they are going to try and what they think might happen. Again, you’re giving them the opportunity to solve their own problems and the space to think it through.