Carrie’s notes from Bob Ewing’s Empathic Listening session:
Listening is one of the 4 basic skills to effective communication. (the others are: reading, writing, speaking). We often don’t think of listening but it’s vital.
How to think about listening, first and foremost give full attention while listening.
Close laptop, putdown iPhone, focus on the conversation and the person so that you can hear what they have to say.
It helps to approach the conversation from the assumption that everyone can teach us.
Focus on the things that matter most so that you can give the person your full attention. Make them the person that matters most. People crave appreciation and being heard.
- The all-important law of human conduct is to always make the other person feel important.
- Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
- You can get through to anyone if you make them feel heard, allow them to fully exhale.
How to get to exhale, personally and helping others to do the same:
Mindsweep as a technique to clear your mind so that you can be more present. Once a week:
Take 30 minutes to do the following exercise.
- What’s on my mind? Write down each idea on a single piece of paper (post-it). (10 minutes)
- What else is on my mind? Write down each idea on a single piece of paper (post-it). (5 minutes)
- What’s the next thing I have to do for each thing that’s on my mind? (15 minutes)
The keys to a successful conversation entail asking these three questions, that allow a person to fully exhale:
- What’s on your mind?
- What else?
- How can I help?