By Sarah C. Keenan, State Policy Network’s Coalitions Manager

We’ve all been there–the middle school cafeteria, a crowded reception at a conference, a large gala. If you find yourself in these situations where you don’t know anyone, how do you start a conversation?

First, identify someone who looks like they want to talk to people. Maybe they are standing alone or just seem friendly. Scan name tags for people you recognize from emails or Twitter who you haven’t yet met in person.

Then, approach confidently. If the person is in a group, don’t just stand there, hoping they will invite you. Confidently reach out and say, “Hi, my name is ______ do you mind if I join your group?” Unless there are unusual circumstances, they will say yes.

Once you’re in a conversation, my trick is to think like a journalist. Find out all that is interesting about the person in front of you. Spend more time asking him or her questions than talking about yourself. Here are some types of questions to get you started.

Pro-tip: if you’re nervous, write three of these questions down on paper and commit them to memory before the event. Like prepping for public speaking, this is a good way to tell your brain that you will be okay and are prepared for lulls in the conversation.

1. Questions about work:

  • What organization or company do you work for? What drew you to that job?
  • How did you get connected to the organization hosting this event?
  • What got you started in the freedom movement?
  • What is your favorite project that you’re working on right now?

2. Questions about the person:

  • Where is your hometown? (This is the question that gives back. You can talk about so many things under this banner: local food, local weather, local sports teams, and if you’re a wonk, all the policy problems.)
  • Did you take/are you taking any fun vacations or trips this year?
  • Did you happen to see [insert recent movie, game, TV show, etc]?
  • What have you been reading or watching lately?
  • How do you enjoy spending your free time?

3. Questions about the conference:

  • What sessions have you signed up for? What
  • How many years have you attended this conference? Do you have any advice on how to get the most out of it?
  • Are you using the SPN app this week? What do think of it?
  • Have you found a good one-on-one meeting spot yet?

Finally, if you truly don’t know what to say and panic, have an exit strategy. An easy one to keep in your back pocket is: “I’m going to get a drink. May I get you anything?” Chances are, someone will come by in the meantime and add to the conversation. Keep some of these questions handy, be bold, and take these events by the horns. You got this!